I got an e-mail a while ago, from an 18 year old girl, telling me that she feels like guys only want to use girls and treat them as objects. She says all the guys she meet are disrespectful and sometimes even rude and she wanted to know what I think about it, my opinion on the subject. So here it is:
I think nowadays women have stopped setting the bar up high for themselves. I see young girls giving it up for any guy they meet, getting into relationships when they’re 12. That ain’t a relationship, you’re not even mature enough to know what a relationship is!
The worst part, in my opinion, is that women have stopped respecting themselves and each other. Calling each other bitches and hoes and whatnot, is not ok! Women should empower each other, help each other up not tear each other apart and put other women down!!!
I feel that girls nowadays have stopped being ladies. I’m not saying you need to look like a 50’s movie start, but respecting yourself is something you should always do. That we should all do.
If we respect ourselves, others will too. If we keep disrespecting other women, men are gonna keep thinking it’s ok to call us bitches and objectify us and they will keep doing so.
Just like, the simple fact that a girl hits on every guy she sees is sending out the message that she’s easy and not a lady. 9 out of 10 times, no guy will want to have anything more than a one night stand with her. Or keep her on hold when he gets “lonely”.
The reason why guys use women, in my most honest and crude opinion is:
BECAUSE WE LET THEM!
We have the power to decide if we’re gonna be used or not. Ok, so maybe we don’t realize it right away. I’ve done that same mistake not too long ago (remember this post?), the thing is, as soon as I realized it, I jumped off the wagon.
Truth of the matter is, YOU decide. A guy cannot:
- hold your hand, unless you let him.
- Kiss you, unless you let him.
- Play with, you unless you let him.
- Disrespect you, unless you let him.
(And if he does, he’s a rapist or forcing you and you should definitely get him out of your life or, in more extreme cases, call the police.)
Bottom line, we want to find reasons and “whys” and answers as to why men treat women this way now. Because WE let them. We stopped respecting ourselves and the moment we did that, men stopped respecting us.
You want to find a nice guy, who will treat you right and be a gentleman? Then start with yourself. Start respecting yourself. Don’t accept any disrespect. Show the world that you know who you are and what you want. And then the boys will go and the men will start coming. Real, grown up men, who know how to respect you because they learned it from their mothers.
Because, we make men. Women are the ones who teach the men how to treat a woman. We accept all sorts of shit from our sons because “oh well, he’s a little kid”. Fuck that! It’s when they’re “little kids” that you need to show them and teach them how to treat a woman. It’s only when they hit puberty and the fathers take the role model part in their lives, that boys start acting…well…stupid. If we teach them from early on how to treat a woman right, they will keep doing so. And if their fathers treat women disrespectfully…well…then you shouldn’t be with them to begin with!
Truth is, women raise men. Men raise ladies.
You want a guy who will treat you right? See how he treats his mother. If he is disrespectful to her, then rest assured he will disrespect you as well. (but beware of Momma Boys…)
Start with yourself…you shouldn’t even be thinking of being with a guy before you know yourself and know your worth and what you want!
I know this probably wasn’t what you were expecting when you asked me my opinion. I could sit here and make excuses. But they would be nothing more than that: excuses.