The other day I got home to a rather unexpected surprise. I had a message on my private Facebook from a girl who thought it was mature and very appropriate to send me a message saying how crappy I am. Why? Well, there are reasons why this girl might not like me, that I am not going to explain here, because it doesn’t matter. Here some of the things she wrote to me (in two messages) and my comments. Below is also my full response to it. Because, you know, we cannot let this go without a response!
Apparently she is very happy to have “won”. I am very happy for her, even thought I did not realize this was a competition. My bad, I should have been paying more attention.
According to her I am manipulative and fake and it’s all due to the fact that I’m fat. I did not know your body shape/weight determined who someone is or their personality. Again, my bad for not being on top of things.
Also, according to her, men only have interest in me to try something “new” and “different”. I did now know I was so out of the ordinary. Maybe I am an alien?
Oh, I am not smart or beautiful. I am now very worried, as I once was told that women that aren’t smart or beautiful will never get a husband and we all know the goal of a woman is to get a husband to support her financially so she can bear his kids and take care of the house. If I am unable to find a man to marry me, what will be of my life?
According to this person, the fact that I am fat automatically means I am seeking for attention from every man I can find, making me a “slut” and “whore”. Like I said above, I did not know your body shape determined your personality.
I should stop eating so I’m not this fat anymore or better yet, I should just go ahead and kill myself (because then I wouldn’t be a burden to society and I’m guessing her as well anymore). Le’mme think about it….nop. Not gonna do that. I enjoy eating healthy and killing myself just for being fat seems a bit too dramatic. Plus, how would I do it? There are just way too many options and thinking about all of the ways for one to kill themselves is just too time consuming for me. Besides, I’m 3000km away from my parents and if I’m going to off myself, I want at least to give some proper goodbyes and a freaking party!
My first thought when I saw the first message was “meh”. No, literally. The next day when I got home and had yet another message I just blocked the girl and thought “wtf, are we 12 and back in middle school?!”. And then I thought this would give a good post! I thought about how many girls out there get messages like these and go on feeling bad about themselves and I thought “hey, I can use this to help someone out there!”.
I could have gotten mad. Heck a while ago I probably would have! But truth is…you writing me this just shows how immature you are and, quite frankly, how much of a bad character you have. Insulting someone based on how they look is a despicable and vile thing to do. Not to mention that it’s just a cowardly thing to do, because you’re behind a screen.
It just goes to show how insecure you are about yourself! It scares you that someone close to you might have interest in me and so you go and try to put me down by commenting on my weight (and apparent lacking of intelligence and beauty).
What you don’t know about myself is that I struggled for a very long time. Too long. I would starve myself for days, there was a point in my life I only ate one soup a day! All because I thought being thin would make me somehow feel better about myself. And you want to know what happened? I ended up unhappy as fuck, wasted a year in a relationship with a guy who did not appreciate or respect me whatsoever and by the time I ended it I was at my rock bottom. And it took me a loooooog ass time to get to the point where I am today. And your little petty remarks about my body will not put me down!!
I love my body and I don’t need any man to tell me I am beautiful. I know I am! Like every other woman out there is, I truly believe we are ALL beautiful. And no, being fat does not make me want to go out and sleep with every guy I find! I take sexual intimacy very seriously and will not just jump in the sack with any guy…I mean, you don’t even know if someone showers properly before you have a conversation with them and stuff…ya know, that’s the kind of thing you need to know before you get to that stage with someone! I don’t have “Daddy issues” and I don’t need a man to make me feel like a woman (I have my period for that, reminding me every month how “blessed” I am for being able to carry children and all because I’m of the female sex). Regardless of my body shape or size or how much I weight.
I am not mad at you because I know better. I know those two messages came from a place of insecurity and hate and . You don’t feel good about yourself and your relationship and doing this made you feel better about yourself. Well, if insulting me regarding my body makes you feel better about your own body and self, then I am more than happy to help you!!! But I think on the long run you should try to focus on yourself and try to get to a positive place, because sweetie, you’re far from being a good person right now (which I personally already suspected). You have a lot of growing to do, and that’s ok, we all had to do it.
Girls, in my opinion, put other girls down to make themselves feel better. Women, on the other hand, empower each other. And this just goes to show that you’re not a woman yet, but a girl. Maybe you’ll get there one day, maybe not, but regardless, you’ll have to find someone else to message, because I ain’t gonna waste my time with little petty messages like that. I have way to much to do in my day and much more important people in my life to focus upon!
I just feel sorry for you. Plain and simple. I don’t even think you are worth my time. Because someone who feels the need to do something this low and this vile, does not even deserve to be given attention.
Has anyone else out there received hate comments, or how they now call it “fat shaming”? How did that feel? I hope reading this will help you realize that you are NOT the problem, but the person who did/said those horrible things. THEY are the problem, they’re the ones who need to work on themselves. You are the victim here, not them. But you can choose if you want to act like a victim or move on with it! I chose the second option.
And remember everyone, this just goes to show that beauty isn’t everything..